Why wait until the loved one is gone to express all in your heart to say? Say it now. It’s even better to put it in writing sometimes-to do the soul excavation of why this person has value in your life and how grateful you are to know this friend, parent, spouse, child. It’s good to say “I love you” and to mean it. Maybe it’s a long lost friend, maybe it’s a relative, maybe it’s the child sitting across from you behind your computer screen right now. I say all this today so you might pause and cherish someone right in front of you, or even remotely. Able to be read again and again, even after she eventually leaves us (sob – don’t want to think about it!). On the 18th birthday of the grandchild, she presents this journal as a snapshot of how her relationship with this person has grown and been cherished for 18+ years. Each time she sees any of them, she makes an entry (unless they are local, then she makes entries after special events). My mother, Karen O’Connor, has kept “grandchildren journals” for each of her grandchildren. But it occurred to me also that it’s important to express *to* those we value just how much we do love them, and why-and how they’ve been precious to us in our lives. I’ve put a lot of who I am in writing (there would be a lot to read from me, if I were to pass suddenly, and that writing might be a comfort to the family and friends I would leave behind). These experiences (so much more common in our fifties, I’m sure) have given me pause. It was powerful to read his words and to take stock of all the changes, all the growth, and even some of the losses. In his note, he reflected back to me who I was at the time and compared that image of me to who I am today.
It had been 30+ years since we had last spoken. Ironically, my college boyfriend did that for me. I value who you are and have been to me.” When I read the lovely notes written to the ones who’ve gone on before me, after they are gone and unable to read them, I’m reminded of how important it is to reach out to the people in our lives now, in writing, to say “I love you. Today, with advances in medicine, it seems as if we all deserve 80 or more!īut the truth is: we just don’t know when our time will come. The rest of us live with the illusion that we’ll all get 70+ years on the planet. Breathtaking how quickly she is gone and not coming back-and how much we all miss her. The most recent high school friend, Alison, died, leaving behind two kids and a much loved husband, not to mention all of us-her friends. To say I’m still in shock is an understatement.Įach day I log onto Facebook, I see references to these friends (their profiles are still up and people pay tribute). Each one “dropped dead” out of nowhere (no warning, no long illness). These friends were in their forties and early fifties. In the last nine months, I’ve lost four friends (one online friend and three from high school).
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